"DEFINITIONS" Wonderfully described definitions......... CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other! MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power! CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight! OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!" MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH! FATHER: A banker provided by nature BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!