Nurse Personal Significance

One of the worst things that can happen to you is to have a creeping feeling that you are not important, that you do not count. In other words your self-styled insignia is Z—meaning zero! There are many many youngsters, inwardly burning with ambition but coming a cropper because of their own negative thinking about themselves. They lack self-confidence because they lack self- significance. When self-significance is missing, the mainspring of activism is missing. Half-hearted efforts yield no reward. Such people do not win the race of life or career. They remain also-rans of the race! Dr Harry Emerson Fosdick says, "No great living is possible without self-respect, and self-respect is the old, misunderstood, misused and morally reprehensible passion for self-aggrandisement, elevated sublimated and put to good use." In order to live a successful and fulfilling life, it is necessary to grasp this fundamental fact. Otherwise, life may turn out to be a vast, long exercise in futility—notwithstanding your innate talents. A parable will explain this point.   An old farmer called his three sons and handed each one of them a gold coin; with the stipulation that they go out and make the best of it. When he was on the brink of death, he called his sons, and demanded to know how they had used them. The first one showed he had multiplied his talent, and become many times richer. The second one also proved the same point thought to a lesser degree. The third one proudly took out his gold coin and told his father: here it is. I have preserved it. You can see it. This one was surprised the most because the old man did not leave any of his property to him. You have to decide the ways in which you can make the best of your 'gold coin'. Once you have recognised the importance and power of the self, you will be in a position to direct it and use it in the most fruitful ways. When you do this, you will not be pin-pricked by those who negative your efforts. When you talk of importance of the self you do not necessarily mean fame. Indeed, though the famous often have great influence, if you covet fame, you do well to look at the debit side of the account—fame's penalties. One of the secrets of self-respect and significance is in determination to do things as well as they can possibly be done. Even if your daily job is rather tedious or tardy, you find some way of doing it well which will result in a sense of self-esteem. If you do not do it yourself, some one else will do it and this will hurt your pride. Self-esteem will get a let-down. Hence, to attain a degree of excellence, efficiency and competence, you have to exert a wee-bit extra and you get that glowing something called job-satisfaction. Self-esteem is feeling of personal worth. It is your need to feel good about yourselves, to feel that you are worthy of the respect of others. The opposite is self-depreciation. It means to run down, disparage or belittle  one's worth. If you regard yourself as insignificant you will be looked upon as a unworthy of respect by others. Modesty is all right within limits. Too much of it is fatal to self-esteem. "Modesty", says Hazlitt, "is the lowest of the virtues, and is a confession of the deficiency it indicates. He who undervalues himself is justly undervalued by others." Every one has some basic psychological needs, things that he feels deeply inside himself he must have. If one of these is not filled, a deep-seated restlessness is produced, a vague unrequited longing, an undercurrent of disappointment that colours every minute of the day and night. Such a person may be adapting himself very well to his environment, managing to put up a cheerful pleasant front; but deep down inside there is a growing longing because one or more of his basic psychological needs are only "an empty yawning sore of misery". "Failure to meet them", says Prof I.C. Coleman, "impairs psychological growth and integration."   Self-respect is the fountain of hope; and, hope is the mother of success and power. One of Pythagoras' wisest maxims in his golden verses is that in which he enjoins the pupil to "reverence himself". To think meanly of oneself, is to sink in one's own estimation, as well as in the estimation of others. And as the thoughts are, so are the acts. A man cannot aspire if he looks down; if he is to rise, he must look up. Inspite of disappointments, in- spite of little or big personal failures that a person experiences through life most often, he manages to think sufficiently well of himself to be encouraged to go ahead. His actual capacities may be ever so minute, his deficiencies may far overshadow his insignificant good qualities, but he himself is able to find some field for personal satisfaction, at least a rebuttal against criticism, supporting it with an unjust complex. A man who is fired from a job thinks he has been holding down well, or a man who is "told off" by someone whose goodwill be assumed, or a man who loses, by some catastrophe, all he has been working for, feels afterwards as though there was nothing left, he feels the utter emptiness of failure, he is done up a gonre; but after a little time, his assurance, his feeling that he is worth something after all, returns. It may have nicked and chipped but his self-esteem is back. He hardly notices the nicks. Total loss of self-esteem is an emotional and mental wound. There are some people who lose every vestige of self-esteem. They regard themselves as failures in every respect. There is nothing more to do or try. The game is up. The bell has toiled for them. They feel they have no place in the world, no worth, no importance, no ability, no talent, no judgement, no future, no past expect guilt and failure. There is no bottom to the despair of these people. They are the most miserable, the sickest and the most-despicable of all human beings. Such a condition in which all self-esteem's gone is called a depressive state. The sheer despair of it all, hour after hour, may finally bring a fling of desperate bravado.   This is a manic-depressive-state. This state is characterised by prolonged periods of excitement and over-activity or by periods of depression and under activity or by alteration or mixture of the two. Two types of persons are most apt to lose their self-esteem and fall into depressive states. One type is the person with great abundance of self-confidence without much in the way of abilities to back it up. The other is the chap who starts out with a strong inferiority complex in youth, never rises above it, and finally succumbs to a series of failures.   Attitude has been defined as a relatively stable, learned, emotionalised predisposition to respond in some consistent way toward an object, person or situation. Our attitude to life determines its style and pattern. It can make all the difference between success and failure.   "Success or failure in business", says Walter Dill Scott, "is caused more by mental attitudes than by mental capacities."   The positive attitude prompts one to look up and forward confidently. The truly positive person is an optimist who lives and thinks and acts in an affirmative, constructive way. "The negative person is never happy and lives in his own fearful way. He says, "I'm afraid in a world I never made." If your self-esteem has been jolted put conscious thought-control into action for courage, determination, cheerfulness.   Ella K. Mallart says "Don't make a mess of your life, of the qualities you received at your birth, see that when you die you aren't ashamed of yourself."   What you need is make-up. Put a new price-tag on yourself. Many great men had a big of self-esteem. Self-esteem has a magic potency. With this ability to take it, you can face and enjoy the challenges of life. It works-miracles. Labourers have become millionaires, parcel-wrapping boys have become great merchants, farm lads have become philosophers, cripples have become presidents, corporals have become Emperors.   To keep your self-esteem buoyant and to enhance it, never use the word impossible. Say, "Anything may happen."

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with warm regards


Harish Sati
Fortune Institute of International Business
Plot no. 5, Vasant Gaon, Rao Tula Ram Marg
Opp. R.R. Army Hospitial, New Delhi- 110057
Mobile No:- 09990646343
E-mail:- Harish.sati@gmail.com


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